The Lost and Found

"The more I find myself, the more people I lose..."

That quote speaks volumes.  It is so ironic because I just had a convo about the same very topic not too long ago with my brother. I believe the ultimate purpose of losing people is to find yourself. The losses are for you, for your gain. Learning to stand alone is hard...no friends, no family, no significant other or mate, it can be extremely difficult...seriously, I know this all too well....but it is the essential essence of self examination and discovery. And honestly, the only way you will truly learn who you are. I have lost people I sincerely valued and earnestly loved because I chose to live beyond the box, I mean waaaaaaaay off the grid. I have cried over dead end relationships until I couldn't cry anymore.  I have mourned broken friendships like someone had died. And I won't begin to explain my emotional condescension for not being listed on a few wedding, bridal and baby shower guests lists because I was apparently no longer "around". And that's perfectly ok. Cry over the spilled relational milk, have an international anger fest, wipe up the mess and go back to skipping to the beat of your own drum.  What I had to recognize is my purpose and plan is written in a different font and color, so I don't match with basic formatting. And i'm not just talking about myself,  I like to believe that our purpose and plans are all written in different fonts and colors, because that is the beauty of humanity and the creator who so eloquently created us. Through it all, I am blessed to have been courageous enough to keep going. I am blessed to have been courageous enough to venture to all the places I've ever wanted to live and be, like I have. Alone. I never would have gotten to know, LOVE and continue to learn who Crystal Dion really is being 1/2 of a pair or staying and residing in a residential or relational space that's only comfortable for others and not myself. And finally... one day, all by myself, I made the grown woman decision to refuse to let those who have fallen by the wayside take away the grandeur of my elevation toward my God inspired purpose, favor and success. What's fearful to some is air to others. I'm going to say that again..."What is fearful to some, is air to others." If you look closely, i'm sure you will find that you may have adapted to fears that aren't even yours, which is why you are smothering. Because you cannot breathe.  Their air is not your air, and their fear is not your fear. Comprehend that now.  Change is good and it has always looked good on me.  And it will look good on you if you allow it to.   Embrace the characteristics of your change...love, live, breathe your change...remain for no one. Your life, the persona God has blessed you with is dependent on it.  Because after you have found yourself, the next chapter in life is discovering who God created you to be. And honey, let me tell you, that is the season you have been waiting for all along. Let the lost go and be found.

~CDL

 ❤️xoxo❤️

Time

Time. One of the most precious gifts God has bestowed upon us. And as with life, it is also governed through seed and harvest.  A common mistake many of us make in our use of time is investing it (whether idle or productive) into the wrong things, activities or people.  And because we've invested in something, subconsciously we will always expect a return.  However since we've invested in the wrong thing, whenever we are expecting that invested time and energy to return to us on a personal level, it usually doesn't come back, and if it does, it will always be less than what was initially invested.  Reason being is because we've made investments in things that aren't capable of producing a reciprocated or accelerated return.

Plant your seeds on fertile ground: in the hearts of your family, your real friends, the people who love and care about you the most, love in general.... the kind of ground that will produce a harvest of long term benefits.  Not quicksand: the things that will eventually bore and/or soon pass away like pseudo associations/friendships, money, social media, etc.  These things are tangible illusions and will only produce a temporary euphoric harvest and atmosphere, giving you the thought and feeling that it is something worth investing in.  Eve was deceived because she was intrigued, and the enemy has not changed his strategy yet. Learn to choose well, or it may take you a lifetime to even begin to make up for the losses.  Be mindful of the time you have.  Be mindful of the time you give.  Be mindful of where and how you spend your time, invest your time and deposit your time.  Be. mindful.  Because the account that holds your time will only generate the return of character it already possesses.  Make sure whatever you put your time and energy in will have the ability to reciprocate that same type of energy or beyond back into you... especially during the times you may need it the most, on a personal level, in your life.

The hardest thing in life, love or business is realizing you've made investments and invested so much time and effort in things or people whose character just isn't capable of producing a reciprocated return.  It is truly a hard pill to swallow, that can often result in heartbreak, anger, disappointment or worse.  But the good thing, being under God's grace and mercy is you live, you love and you learn.  And most times the lessons that hurt the most, are the lessons you learn the best.  So while you may walk away without what you initially thought you'd receive or even with what you initially had, you walk away with something just as or if not way more purposeful...you walk away with a new level of maturity.  And of course, an humble respect for your time, and others.