You Don't Know The Cost

I was sitting listening to various songs and I ran across a very powerful song by Cece Winans...Alabaster Box. Now I've heard this song over and over, and have always loved it, but today it just struck me in a different way. Just read some of the lyrics and really see if you can personify them with yourself:

I can't forget
The way life used to be
I was a prisoner
To the sins that had me bound
I spent my days
Poured my life without measure
Into a little treasure box
I thought I had found
Until the day when Jesus came to me
And healed my soul
With the wonders of His love
So now I'm giving back to Him
All the praise He's worthy of
I've been forgiven
And that's why
I love Him so much

Those lyrics really exemplify to me personally of where God has brought me from because those lyrics were "me" in so many ways. If I tried to describe "me" in any other way in hopes to sincerely describe where Jesus has brought me from, I couldn't measure up to how the lyrics have broken "me" down. I was a prisoner to the sins that had me bound, I spent my days pouring my life without measure into a little treasure box I "thought" I had found: UNTIL....hmph!!!!

And I'm sure many people can relate and testify, however I can only really comment on myself. So I say so strongly to everyone, don't be ashamed of where God has brought you from, don't be afraid to give thanks and praise the way you really feel you are being moved to praise. I'm a water-head, and trust me, I will cry at the drop of a hat, I can't tell yall how many times I've had to get myself together in the parking lot of my job because my praise has taken me to a level that I wasn't expecting during a morning commute.

Don't be bashful about expressing to the world how merciful God has been to you and how much you love the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. God is so good, and the even better part is He is not halfway finished with blessing us. I hate to sound cliche', though this statement is so very true when it comes to what God has for us, but THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!! Yall aint feeling me! Sometimes I feel as though if I praised Him a million times a minute, I still couldn't praise Him enough. Don't let people water down your praise, and if they try to, you have lyrics to assist you on how to handle those people.

Simply tell them, "Don't be angry if I wash His feet with my tears, And dry them with my hair, You weren't there the night He found me, You did not feel what I felt
When He wrapped His loving arms around me, And you don't know the cost of the oil in my alabaster box."

That is the best way to handle that, because truly when it comes to me, you and them...none of us know what people are going through, what people have overcome and been delivered from, we are literally at war fighting for our physical and spiritual lives so no one honestly can judge anyone else's situation and circumstance. I will be quick to admit to everyone that they don't know what I've gone through... I'll tell anyone, you weren't there the night Jesus found Crystal, you did not feel what I felt when Jesus wrapped His loving arms around me...you don't know the cost of the oil, you don't know the cost of my praise, you don't know the cost of the oil...in MY alabaster box.

And you should be confident and so grateful for the love that Christ has so unselfishly poured on, in, and around you to do the same.

Reflections of the Most High

This is an article I wrote about a year ago for an online teen girls magazine...Goddess Magazine. I was the contributor for the inspirational "Goddess Within" section. Thought I would share, and feel free to share with other young girls who are struggling with the understanding of how beautiful God truly created them.

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I adore mirrors; most girls do. But I mean personally, I absolutely love mirrors. It is hard for me to not look in a mirror if I am near or around one. Mirrors are probably one of the most innovative inventions known to man, especially to women, because it allows us to really see ourselves exactly the way we look at that period and time. And if at that period of time we think we are pretty, it gives us what we believe to be the pretty truth. Now in addition to our pretty moments, more often man made mirrors also show us the natural, the flaws, and the things we may often times try to cover up. The blemishes and imperfections that sometimes can be less than desirable and maybe the things that we have been told are not pretty or cute. A man made mirror can be your friend, or your enemy. It could be your dream or your worst nightmare.

When we are all dolled up, we usually can't stay out of them. We love to look at our beautiful faces, perfectly manicured with all the trimmings of foundation, concealer, lipstick, and liner. And if looking in a large mirror, we twist and turn to see all the angles of the phenomenal completion of a trendy dressed woman. However, on the flip side, sometimes many of us including myself, have no desire to look in one if we fear what is staring back at us is less than what we desire. Needless to say, a man made mirror, at any given moment, can also give us what we believe is the ugly truth. In contrast, it is really not a truth but more so a man made perception. This is the fallacy of what a man made mirror can tell. We quickly forget how no matter what we may look like at whatever time, we are still a reflection of the most high.

God created us in His image...let me say that again...God created us in HIS IMAGE. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14). A masterpiece sculpted by the master of perfection. You are beautiful beyond words. You are so special to God, that when He created you, He set you apart from all the rest. He loves you so much that you are more than a flock of sparrows to Him. (Luke 12:7) What a man made mirror shows, God does not even recognize. What a God made mirror shows, man does not want to recognize. Man does not want to recognize that God sees no flaws, even if and when they are present. We have been trained by worldly standards to think that what we look like is most important, and anything less than perfect is "damaged goods". This, young ladies, is an ultimate untruth. There is nothing on this great earth that God put His hand in and created that was damaged or contains imperfection in His eyes or by His standards.

So I ask you this, what mirror do you have? Whose mirror are you looking in? Is it man's mirror, or is it God's mirror? God's mirror honors no flaws or imperfections because you are perfect, lovely and unique to Him. God’s mirror does not give the reflection of a blemished fallacy because you are a specific reflection of Him. You are indeed a reflection of perfection. And remember, if you are a reflection of Him, the Most High; then well, by the grace of His majesty and dominion, you must be fly.

Song of Solomon 4:7:
7 You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way. (New Living Translation)

I Won't Complain

I could write all about the lyrics to this old church hymn, and how it tugs at my heart every time I hear it, but I believe the actual lyrics tell it all.

I've had some good days
I've had some hills to climb
I've had some weary days
And some sleepless nights

But when I look around
And I think things over
All of my good days
Outweigh my bad days
I won't complain

Sometimes the clouds are low
I can hardly see the road
I ask a question, Lord
Lord, why so much pain?
But he knows what's best for me
Although my weary eyes
They can't see
So I'll just say thank you Lord
I won't complain

The Lord Has been so good to me
He's been good to me
More than this old world or you could ever be
He's been so good to me

He dried all of my tears away
Turned my midnights into day
So I'll just say thank you Lord
I won't complain.

My Unexpected Wow Moment from God

I was watching an interview on youtube with Lalah Hathaway last night and she sang a snippet of a song. Now at that time, I didn't know the name of it because I had never heard it. I didn't even hear the song in its entirety, so like the music lover I am, I went searching for it. Unfortunately, I couldn't find it, so I went on to bed. Now fast forward to this morning, I wake up with the stresses of my life heavy on my shoulders, I mean really heavy. I was an emotional mess, starting crying, began praying, and cried some more. I wasn't feelin my best at all. Some of the things I remember saying to God were, "the reason I write is because I know how it feels to feel lost, confused, and alone, and wanted other people to know they aren't alone." I also remember saying, "I pray that people can feel God's comfort through my words, and how even with writing the type of things I write, sometimes I can't." I was borderline hysterical. You know, that hysteria when you feel God has stopped everything when it comes to you and your life, yeah that kind. So I decided i'd listen to some music to calm me down. Came to imeem typed in Lalah Hathaway's name and saw a song, didn't recognize it by name, but something told me to just click on it. I hesitated, but then again, "something" said "click on it". So I did, and as I listened to the lyrics I realized that it was the song I was lookin for in the first place, but not only that, the lyrics blew me away because I immediately recognized this .....God was giving me the answers to my questions and cries this morning through this song's lyrics this morning. What stuck out to me was this..."With all that's going on around me I just don't know why or how my heart remembers to keep on lookin toward the sky....". Its true, cause through everything, even in my anger and fear, I still continue to look to the hills from where my help comes from. I shared this experience with a friend, and her comments were, "God always has a way to get to us no matter what." She is absolutely correct, and I am a witness today. Amazing.

The Year of Jubilee

Last night I was watching tv, supposedly doing homework and Joel Osteen's broadcast came on. I was halfway listening as I was really ready to finish my studying so I could to go to bed. But God had a word for me via Pastor Osteen...."This is My Year of Jubilee". Now just to be sure and clear, I wanted to read the definition of the word "Jubilee". There were many ranging from culture to culture. Roman Catholics(A time of rejoicing), to Jews and Isrealites(yearlong period to be observed once every 50 years, during which slaves were to be freed). There was even a specified definition for Black American culture that stated "future happiness or deliverance from tribulation". All and All Jubilee can easily be summed up as "a season of general joy", or "an occasion of joyful celebration". But the kicker is in most cultures it only happens ever 25 or 50 years, so you KNOW it has to be a huge, huge, once in a life time deal. Jubilee is something SO BIG that many cultures only get to experience it maybe once or twice in a lifetime. Oh and did I mention that it is a YEAR LONG celebration? That in itself must mean its a phenomenal season to be in. Going back to Osteen's topic... It was an amazing word, and I WENT IN. In betwixt my crying, thanking, and praising God, I managed to jot down a few key things that I do believe God really wants us to know. Since we now know what Jubilee means, and I MORE THAN got the word last night and have already thanked and agreed with my Father on this, this is for you...

~Don't beg God for things, thank Him for releasing what already belongs to you

~God works where there is faith and expectancy

~When Jubilee comes, nothing can stop God from releasing what has your name on it

~God's dream for your life is so much bigger than your own

~He has put your name on everything you need for your destiny

~Acceleration, unprecedented FAVOR is here, get ready for things to accelerate because God is speeding things up profusely

~This is the year for God to act on your behalf...freedom, restoration, promotion, increase, just to name a few.

This is your year of Jubilee, the free favor of God is profusely abounding all around you. Dare to believe it, I do.

"Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]".
~Ephesians 3:20(Amplified Bible)

Facebook Confirmation and ME

Crystal got a message that on this day, God wants her to know...

"that God has an important purpose for you, and made everything possible for you to succeed. That's not to say it's an easy purpose, or a convenient one. It might very well seem hard or even impossible, but it only looks that way. The truth is that one day you will look back and see how all the pieces fit together. And how your life has been a complete and utter success."
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Well what a relief! That is the message I received from the "See what God wants you to know" application on Facebook. I was blown away because that word is REAL to me. Many don't understand what I deal with, spiritually. The battle I face, how I am at war, seriously. This is a topic that I struggle with a lot. MY PURPOSE. I won't say I don't know what it is, cause I do. I won't say I don't want to do it, cause I do. But what I will say is it is hard. God has His hand on me, my path is unexplainable. I am so against the grain that sometimes I bruise. But with His help, the task is simple and attainable.

My thoughts afterward...


I am a sinner, I have to convict my flesh every day. I have purpose so my Father walks with me. When I fall He picks me up, when I am down He lifts me up. When I come up short, he compensates, when I lack, he fills my cup. He is merciful, over and over again. When I am weak, He is my strength. When I am sad he is my happiness. When people leave, He fills the void. When I cry, He wipes my tears and is my joy. When I am lonely, He speaks to me. When I need to talk, He listens. When I want to love, He allows the receiver to receive. When people are on their way, He makes space. He is merciful, over and over again. No one can understand how merciful He is to me, as many times as I've been broken, fallen, walked away and failed to believe, He still says...Crystal, you are forgiven, trust in Me, and I will keep you. But Lord, why? Why do you do this for me? Why am I so worthy I ask? He only smiles as the response. But just when I've given up asking, just when I've figured that His smile is just enough confirmation, He gently speaks....Surely goodness and mercy will follow you, all the days of your life, and you will dwell in the House of the Lord, forever...He is merciful, over and over and over again.

What Are You Saying?

As it is written, I have made thee a father of many nations, before him whom he believed, even God, who quickeneth the dead, and calleth those things which be not as though they were.
~Romans 4:17 KJ

As it is written, I have made you the father of many nations. [He was appointed our father] in the sight of God in Whom he believed, Who gives life to the dead and speaks of the nonexistent things that [He has foretold and promised] as if they [already] existed.
~Roman 4:17 Amplified

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So okay I ask what are you speaking? I mean really really think about the things you say, the way you talk, the things you talk about. Are you speaking about things that are; or are you speaking about things that are not? The last part of the King James version for Romans 4:17 states that "God calleth those things which be not as though they were," and the Amplified version says that "God speaks of the nonexistent things that He has foretold and promised as if they already existed."

Is anybody paying attention to this? SPEAK OF NONEXISTENT THINGS AS IF THEY ALREADY EXISTED!!! Now I want to know does this apply to me too? Can I speak the things that are no where near my understanding, things that I need, want, and desire about my life, things that don't make sense in the natural to me or others? Of course I can! Why? Because I have been given the same power that God has, because I was created by Him. I have the same power that Jesus has, I have the power to say to a mountain, MOVE and it be uprooted and thrown into the sea.

That is some mighty power if I may say so, but guess what? You have it too! Stop talking and speaking about all the negative things of this world that are naturally common to man, like "we are in a recession", "the economy is bad", "men are dogs", "women are scandalous". Even if those things have proven to be true for you...Stop SAYING IT! Would you like to know why it has proven true for you?

What we as Christians don't realize is that our tongue is very powerful and when we speak things, because we are spiritual beings, and the spirit is very sensitive, we are not only speaking them, we are in agreement with them. Which ultimately makes those things true and fact in our lives and all around us when we do so. What we say takes root, grows, breathes, and lives, in our lives. Stop providing nourishment for the negative. What if God walked around the earth stating, "Man, it sholl is dark around here...."? Yall, we have GOT to get this, understand this, meditate on this, that we have that same power...today, right now, on earth.

You can't pay me to say I'm in a recession, cause I'm not, you can't pay me to say men are dogs, cause they aren't. You and I reside in the Kingdom and everything in it and around us is blessed and highly favored. My finances are blessed, my relationships are favored, my health, well being, and everything else attached to me are too. Love, abundant life, and grace are all within me and constantly drawing unto me, all I have to do is speak and receive.

I don't care what yall think or say, and I don't care what I see or hear, those lifestyle negatives that everyone harps on continually are not true in my life. And neither of those things apply to you and your lives either, unless you say so. Start calling those things that be not, as though they were; can you speak and agree with that?